On Monday, as a part of the Advanced Course that BRIEF offers, the participants were negotiating the opening of a role-play session. The client had been instructed to give the following answer to a ‘best hopes’ question (George et al., 1999) ‘I just want my daughter to come home on time’. As expected, and as Chris and I would also have done, the role-play worker ended up inviting the role-play client to describe the parent-daughter relationship which fits with a daughter coming home on time, or at the very least fits with a parent and child being able to sort out together difficulties around ‘time of coming in’. This is exactly what Gale Miller and Steve de Shazer meant when they wrote ‘Building homes for solutions is what the solution-focused language game is designed to do.’ (Miller & de Shazer, 1998, p 21), In Solution Focused Practice we do not focus on solving problems but on the construction of the context within which solutions can develop the ‘homes for solutions’. Following the exercise we were all discussing and feeding back how the conversations went in the various groupings when one participant commented ‘yes but at the end of the conversation I still wanted to know what to do about my daughter coming home late’. This contribution raises, for me, a really important point – in Solution Focused Practice we have to be sure that we are staying close (enough) to our client, that we are staying in touch, that we are connected. Should the client not experience a connection between what brought them to us and what we are talking about together then that will inevitably risk disconnection, will risk the client asking themselves (and indeed maybe asking or even challenging us) ‘what is the point of this conversation?’, ‘how is this conversation useful?’. So given this risk what can we do that mitigates against the risk? And I think that the answer is simple – we must check and perhaps keep checking.
Let’s take a simple example. A client arrives.
Worker: So what are your best hopes from our talking together?
Client: Well I’ve been suffering with depression over the last few months – in fact my GP has suggested that I should take medication but I don’t really want to go down that path.
Worker: OK so what are your best hopes from our talking? How will you know that this has been useful to you?
Client: Well if I could just start doing the things that I used to do – going out, exercising, seeing friends, having more energy, having my life again . . .
Worker; OK so if we did some talking together and you found yourself having your life again, going out exercising, seeing friends and having more energy would that mean that this had been useful to you?
Client: Yes
When the client answers ‘yes’ this will reassure the worker that the translation from problem to ‘best hopes’ has worked, that it makes sense, that a mutually workable focus has been established.
Of course when the initial client response to the ‘best hopes’ question is more ‘problem-solving specific’ the transition into a mutually workable ‘best hopes’ focus is trickier.
Worker: So what are your best hopes from our talking together?
Client: Well . . . I guess that what I really want is for my daughter to come in on time when she goes out with her friends . . . she is always late and I end up shouting and we end up arguing and then she promises that it will be different next time and then she does it again.
Worker: OK . . .so if she were coming in on time it sounds like that would make a big difference to you?
Client: yes it would – I wouldn’t be so angry, I wouldn’t get so stressed. I wouldn’t be shouting so much – I’d be nicer to everyone not just to her.
Worker: So if she were coming in on time and you were the version of you who was less stressed, less angry, shouting less and nicer to everyone what difference might that make to the relationship between you and your daughter?
Client: It’d make a huge difference, we’d get on better, we’d be talking again and not just about problems, there’d be more smiles, more niceness.
Worker: So is that the sort of relationship that you’d want to have with your daughter?
Client: Yes of course it is – it has not been like that for the last year – at least.
Worker: So if we did some talking together and one way or another you found that the two of you were getting on better, you were talking again and not just about problems, there were more smiles and definitely more niceness would that mean that this had been useful to you?
At this point the client will either answer ‘yes’ in which case there is a clear focus for the talking or might answer ‘well yes but she really does have to come in on time’. The reversion to ‘but she really does have to come in on time’ is a reminder to the worker that the ‘one way or another’ is not OK for the client and the ‘coming in on time’ may need to be preserved in the initial description of the preferred future. Of course later in the preferred future description the worker may again invite a softening of the linear ‘coming in on time’/ ‘relationship improving’ frame.
Worker: Let’s imagine this – that you begin to notice that you are that bit ‘nicer to everyone’ that there is more smiling and more talking and so on even though the coming in late thing has not yet changed who might be the first person to notice?
So checking is important! And we can check at the end of the ‘best hopes’ sequence, we can check during the course of the session ‘are we talking about the right things?’ or ‘ is this making sense?’ and we can check towards the end of the session ‘have I given you the opportunity to say what you had in mind to say today?’. Checking, mor3 checking and more checking!
With many thanks to the Advanced course group since it was our discussion that initiated these reflections.
- There is another example ‘I just want to be able to sleep.’ Is sleeping somehow different? (George, E. 2018) that might be of interest.
George, E. 2018 https://www.brief.org.uk/blog/
George, E., Iveson, C. and Ratner, H. (1990; Revised and expanded Edition 1999) Problem to Solution: Brief Therapy with Individuals and Families. London: BT Press
Miller, G., de Shazer, S. (1998) Emotions in Solution-Focused Therapy: A Re-examination Family Process Vol 39 No 1
Evan George
London
08 February 2026
