Another great question. During the course of the week I was asked by a course participant ‘so what would a Solution Focused practitioner do if a child in a school setting talks about being bullied and the children in her class being unkind to her’.
Well first of all you have to stop being a Solution Focused practitioner for a while. All of us are more than just SF practitioners. We might be Social Workers, or Nurses or Psychologists, or Psychiatrists, or Counsellors or Coaches or members of school staff and those roles require us to take action if we hear of a child being bullied or treated badly. Bullying, and indeed unkindness, are not merely a child’s problem, they are wider, systemic issues, they need to be treated as such and the worker needs to take responsibility for ensuring that they are dealt with appropriately within the school’s guidelines and policies. Having done so the worker can return to their Solution Focused role and find something that the child or young person wants upon which to focus.
‘So it sounds like you would like it if the other children included you more and played with you more and were nicer?’
‘Yes’.
‘And if they were including you more and playing with you more and being nicer how would you feel different going to school?’
‘I’d feel happier inside’.
‘Sounds like that would make a (big) difference to you?’
‘Yes it would’.
‘And what difference would it make to your waking up in the morning and how you felt about going to school?’
‘I’d be looking forward to it more rather than not wanting to go’.
‘OK - well let’s imagine this. Imagine that you go wake up tomorrow looking forward to school and feeling happier inside . . . ‘.
The child can then be invited to describe a ‘happier inside, looking forward to school’ waking up and getting ready to go and breakfast and journey to school with lots of questions about who would notice and how would they respond and how might the child respond back. And then we can invite the child to take the ‘happier inside and looking forward’ version of themselves into school ‘even though people haven’t yet started playing with you or including you or being nicer’. The more detail that the child can develop, as we ask questions from the perspective of their teacher, the class-room assistant, even from that of the child in their class who is kindest to them, the more useful the conversation is likely to be. The more detail in the description, the more likely it is that the child will begin to notice moments at school when she is happier and feels better and as this happens all sorts of possibilities open up. Steve de Shazer talks about a ‘ripple-effect’ (1985, p 77) that is unpredictable. At the very least this focus may allow for the child to begin to have a better time at school even if the other children are never quite as including as they could (indeed as they should) be.
However it is important to stress that in my view we can only do this ethically if we feel confident that the school system will deal with and is dealing with the bullying and the unkindness!
de Shazer, Steve (1985) Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy. New York: Norton.
With many thanks to the members of the Solution Focused Practice Level 1 Foundation Programme one of whom asked this question.
I would be interested in the thoughts of other Solution Focused Practitioners who work in school settings and in particular I would like to hear how you would respond.
Evan George
London
25th January 2026.
